This post is dedicated to Tina.

It’s been 8 days since you left us Matty.

I’m sitting here alone in my house. And it’s so quiet. And I’m thinking of you. And I’m thinking of your mom and your dad and your brother and your sister and your aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents.

I am thinking how sad they are. How sad we all are, that you are in heaven.

I’m thinking of last Wednesday morning when I woke up early, looked out the window at the beautiful sunrise and the streaks of light across the sky…and I sensed that you were up there.

And I cried really hard.

I am wondering if I ever passed you on the playground, or saw you at school when you were there with your mom to pick up your brother. I’ve seen pictures of your sweet face. But I wish I’d had the chance to know you, to hug you.

So many of us lit a candle for you last week. We spent a lot of time hugging, and crying and asking why.

We still do.

And we sat together, shoulder to shoulder at the church on Saturday when we had to say goodbye. Did you see us? All of those moms? Jen and Deb and Lisa and Jess and Gretta and Bonnie and Karen and so, so many others.

We are proud of you for your brave fight.

We promise that we will be here for your family. And we will hug your mom and talk and cry with her when she wants to.

We will do everything we can to try and ease her pain, even if we can never truly understand what she’s feeling.

We will do everything we can to honor you.

We will celebrate you and watch over your spirit, always.

We promise that Matty.

Because that’s all we know how to do.

We love you.

Love,

Your fireflies